As Christians, we talk about faith...a lot. Usually when we do this, we are speaking of trust. To have faith is to trust something unseen. To have faith in God is to trust God, to know that God's promises are true. We often look to the Apostles and Saints as exemplars of faith, but I think we sometimes forget that they were human.
When they failed (and they did) and when we fail (and we will), God remains faithful. We can have faith in God, because God remains true. We can trust God, because God never fails. And even when we doubt, even when we fail, we remember that God is still God.
Today, we look at one of these moments of failure. In Matthew 14:22-33, Peter has some doubts. Thankfully, Jesus remains faithful.
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As you may recall, last week Jesus received some bad news. His cousin, John, had been put to death. And while he would have liked to take some time alone to grieve, the crowds that had been seeking him out followed him from the shore and surrounded him as he came ashore. He had compassion and healed them. And then there was the miracle of the feeding.
Today, we pick up where we left off last week. Following the feeding, Jesus sends the disciples on ahead in the boat to the other side of the lake. I have to imagine them wondering how exactly he planned to catch up. They were taking the boat. Was he planning to walk around the shore the whole way? Was he planning to hire another boat somewhere along the way? What was the plan? But the text simply tells us that they went on ahead, and Jesus finally got his alone time.
He heads up the mountain by himself to pray. As evening settled he was alone.
Meanwhile, the disciples were having a tough time of it. The boat faced stiff headwinds. Far out from shore, they were tossed around by the waves. And apparently this went on all night.
Can you imagine being in a boat on rough water, far away from shore, without our modern conveniences like lights and navigational aids and life jackets? Can you imagine sitting in the dark all night tossed around by the waves?
As the sky finally starts to lighten, an amazing sight greets them. Striding across the water towards them is Jesus.
After the night they have had, they were justifiably terrified. How is this possible? Are they dead? Is Jesus dead? What is going on?
Perhaps you can understand their fear. Perhaps the difficulty they had in believing what they could see with their eyes makes a certain amount of sense.
As he gets closer, Jesus greets them with the phrase he seems to have to use with them so often - “Do not be afraid.” So much of what he teaches them and shows them seems to fill them with fear. “Do not be afraid.”
At this point, Peter decides to test this vision they see. “If it is really you, command me to come out on the water to you.”
Jesus responds, “Come.”
This is an important part of this story. Peter is the one that initiates the call. He tells Jesus, “I want you to tell me to come to you.” Peter wanted things on his terms. He put Jesus to the test. He had seen amazing things, but he still had trouble believing the things he had seen. “If it is you, tell me to come to you.”
I think at times, we still do this today. “If it is your will, God, then give me a sign.” “If you really want me to do this, make the way plain.”
We want to be called. But we want it on our terms. Peter sets the expectations. He tells Jesus how this is going to work. “If you tell me to come to you, I will.”
After Jesus calls him forth, Peter starts across the water.
Imagine it! Peter steps out of the boat onto the waves and begins to walk toward Jesus. The boat that had been tossed around all night. The boat that had been pushed out far from shore. The one bit of physical safety anywhere nearby. And Peter climbs out of the boat onto the water.
And then all of that seems to come crashing in on Peter at once. He looks around at the waves still pushed around by the strong winds, and he is afraid. He begins to sink into the water.
Now he has a new request. “Lord, save me!” What began as a test turns into a cry for help.
As Jesus reaches out to draw him up out of the water, Jesus says, “You man of weak faith!” Jesus calls Peter a man of weak faith.
Peter.
Peter, who was personally called by Jesus.
Peter, who was not only one of the Twelve, but who with the sons of Zebedee, James and John, were the closest to Jesus.
Peter, whom Jesus calls the rock, the rock on which the church is built.
When Jesus was transfigured on the mountain, Peter was there.
When Jesus raised Jairus’ daughter, Peter was there.
In Gethsemane, Peter is called further into the garden.
This Peter. This is the man who Jesus calls a man of weak faith.
As I was thinking about this, I was reminded of Luke Skywalker in the original Star Wars trilogy. In the original movie, Luke begins to learn about the Force. He is told to trust the Force - let the Force guide you instead of the other way around.
In The Empire Strikes Back, Luke seeks out a new teacher. He is expecting to find a great warrior. Instead, his expectations are twisted when he meets a small green creature. He eventually learns that this diminutive creature is in fact the Jedi Master, Yoda.
As Master Yoda continues his training, he tries to teach Luke more about the nature of the Force. It connects all living things. It makes unexpected things possible, like lifting rocks without touching them or deflecting blaster bolts with a glowing sword.
At one point, Luke’s ship begins to sink into the swamp. Luke is devastated. How is he going to get the ship out? He will eventually need it to leave the planet?
Yoda looks at him and basically says, “haven’t you been paying attention to what I’ve been teaching you?”
Like Peter in the boat, Luke tries to make it work. At first, it looks like he is going to succeed. The ship stops sinking. It even rises a bit. But just as Peter saw the strength of the wind and failed, Luke sees the size of the ship and realizes the task is impossible, and then the ship slowly sinks even further into the swamp.
Yoda then proceeds to lift out the ship that Luke had failed to raise. The ship clears the water and comes to rest on solid ground. Luke stares in disbelief and says, “I don’t believe it,” to which Yoda responds, “That is why you fail.”
Peter wanted to believe. He wanted to be called. But at the same time, Peter was afraid. He was a man of weak faith.
If Peter is a man of weak faith, where does that leave the rest of us?
The good news here is that it isn’t actually up to us. If it were up to us, up to our strength and abilities alone, we would still be cowering in the boat. If it were up to us, we would have watched the ship sink into the swamp and moved in with Yoda.
But God does not leave us there. Even though Peter doubted, even though Peter had responded to Jesus with demands, Jesus did not let him sink. Jesus pulled him out of the waves and took him back into the boat. And here we are, 2000 years later, still part of the church built on the rock of Peter’s faith. God took this man of weak faith and great things came from it.
Just imagine what God can do with us!
It is hard at times to believe. We want God to pay attention to us. We want to be called. But even when we are called, we are scared.
We are afraid that we are going to fail.
We are afraid we are not good enough.
We are afraid to risk our feelings, afraid to risk anything of value.
At times, we are so afraid to fail, that we don’t even know how to start.
And yet, just as God was able to do much with Peter, God can do great things with us. God can take what we have and do great things with it. Even when we feel like we aren’t good enough, like we aren’t worthy enough. Even when we have doubts. Event when we fail, God continues to love us. God continues to work miracles through the weakest faith.
In the last couple of years, there is a song that I have heard on the radio called “You Say.” The song is sung by Christian artist, Lauren Daigle. In this song, she sings about the weakness we all feel and the lies that we tell ourselves. The song acknowledges that God takes what we have, no matter how big or how small, and does what needs to be done with it. This song covers both the limits and the strength of faith.
So I want to invite you to listen to this song. Listen to these words, to the feelings that maybe you have felt yourself. And be encouraged that God loves us and calls us and uses us even when we feel we aren’t enough.
It is not dependent on our abilities, but, with God, all things are possible.